This is kinda of ridiculous, but I am exhausted. Totally exhausted.
At the same time I am super excited about a new research area that I am looking into. It's so cool!
Plus I just want to keep reading the Harry Potters.
Life can be tough when there are so many cool things you can be doing.
26.3.07
Perhaps overcoming my fear of drastically short hair
I have read in the past few days a book that I swear is the oddest novel I have ever read. Seriously. I can't make heads or tails of it.
In more light news... I am considering cutting my hair. Seriously. For those of you not familiar with my hair saga... I had beautiful normal hair as a child and begged my mother to let me cut it in 2nd grade, which was a disaster. I have a lot of hair, so the volume made my hair go mushroom head. Not at all attractive. In fact, it scarred me in terms of haircuts and I did not cut my hair again until right before high school graduation - and then it went from waist length to shoulder length, and in the past 5 or 6 years has varied between shoulder length and mid back. However, I'm feeling like the longer hair makes me look younger than I am, and am considering cutting it to look like this:
Now, keep in mind that my hair isn't nearly that blonde, though the sun is out more so it'll get lighter again - though never that light. I also haven't had bangs since that desastrosa 2nd grade mushroom cap. I mean, that's short hair! But I think it could look good on me, if the person cuts it the right way. So, I ask the world: what do you all think?
In more light news... I am considering cutting my hair. Seriously. For those of you not familiar with my hair saga... I had beautiful normal hair as a child and begged my mother to let me cut it in 2nd grade, which was a disaster. I have a lot of hair, so the volume made my hair go mushroom head. Not at all attractive. In fact, it scarred me in terms of haircuts and I did not cut my hair again until right before high school graduation - and then it went from waist length to shoulder length, and in the past 5 or 6 years has varied between shoulder length and mid back. However, I'm feeling like the longer hair makes me look younger than I am, and am considering cutting it to look like this:
Now, keep in mind that my hair isn't nearly that blonde, though the sun is out more so it'll get lighter again - though never that light. I also haven't had bangs since that desastrosa 2nd grade mushroom cap. I mean, that's short hair! But I think it could look good on me, if the person cuts it the right way. So, I ask the world: what do you all think?
24.3.07
lazing around
I have gotten through the first three Harry Potter books. They have been fun. I've also done food shopping, cleaning, and general lazing around. It is kind of boring, to be honest.
I woke up with a splitting headache this morning. Painkillers aren't really helping it. I'm wondering if higher humidity levels may be behind it? Or having the window open and a psycho neighbor (some of them really are "characters" to use a charitable word) smoking a cigarette and shouting into a cell phone while I am trying to be relaxed in bed reading? Who knows.
I successfully made an Ave Pimenton sandwich yesterday. I am so proud.
Part of me wants to link the title of this post to something insightful about Neruda's Walking around poem, but I am, again, being lazy. So there.
I woke up with a splitting headache this morning. Painkillers aren't really helping it. I'm wondering if higher humidity levels may be behind it? Or having the window open and a psycho neighbor (some of them really are "characters" to use a charitable word) smoking a cigarette and shouting into a cell phone while I am trying to be relaxed in bed reading? Who knows.
I successfully made an Ave Pimenton sandwich yesterday. I am so proud.
Part of me wants to link the title of this post to something insightful about Neruda's Walking around poem, but I am, again, being lazy. So there.
21.3.07
Good news!
So I passed my exams.
It was both worse and better than I expected, in terms of the experience.
In the end, I was just myself and that worked out just fine. And I looked gosh darn good in my suit.
I don't know what to do with myself! I can read something else! And now that the time has come, I'm almost afraid to leave the obsessive reviewing behind and do something else. Wow. I need to work on this.
It was both worse and better than I expected, in terms of the experience.
In the end, I was just myself and that worked out just fine. And I looked gosh darn good in my suit.
I don't know what to do with myself! I can read something else! And now that the time has come, I'm almost afraid to leave the obsessive reviewing behind and do something else. Wow. I need to work on this.
big day
Today's the big day. In fact, in less than 3 hours comes the big moment.
I'm nervous.
It's crappy out so I skipped the relaxing organ recital - instead, I stayed in bed until noon and had pancakes to help me feel better. My tummy is acting up a bit, but that's to be expected, right?
Let's all hope I don't mess this up.
I'm nervous.
It's crappy out so I skipped the relaxing organ recital - instead, I stayed in bed until noon and had pancakes to help me feel better. My tummy is acting up a bit, but that's to be expected, right?
Let's all hope I don't mess this up.
19.3.07
Hoy te busqué en la rima que duerme con todas las palabras
Ever since I finished my written exams last week I have had some concentration problems. Given that I have to teach and go to class tomorrow, I am finally studying about now. This isn't wise on my part, but my brain needed a break.
I went to a sorority event over the weekend that was quite nice. It was fun to get out my pin again, that I haven't worn since I graduated. Plus I met some more nice ladies.
Near the end of last week I made an order on Amazon for the MLA Handbook (and I am dorkily excited about it) because I am sick of having to go places to consult it. So now I have my own! And of course I had to get up to the free shipping limit, so I ordered some CD's, too. Guess who? Gustavo Cerati! He is supposed to be in Santiago while I'm down there and I'm super excited! I only had Soda Stereo CDs but from what I heard of his solo stuff at Viña del Mar, I was intrigued and interested. So 2 new CDs for me! Though I usually find his lyrics interesting but impossible to figure out, here is one that I actually enjoy quite a bit and maybe even understand. At least it's not talking about being a plant. The lyrics are from the Bocanada CD, and the translation is my own.
I went to a sorority event over the weekend that was quite nice. It was fun to get out my pin again, that I haven't worn since I graduated. Plus I met some more nice ladies.
Near the end of last week I made an order on Amazon for the MLA Handbook (and I am dorkily excited about it) because I am sick of having to go places to consult it. So now I have my own! And of course I had to get up to the free shipping limit, so I ordered some CD's, too. Guess who? Gustavo Cerati! He is supposed to be in Santiago while I'm down there and I'm super excited! I only had Soda Stereo CDs but from what I heard of his solo stuff at Viña del Mar, I was intrigued and interested. So 2 new CDs for me! Though I usually find his lyrics interesting but impossible to figure out, here is one that I actually enjoy quite a bit and maybe even understand. At least it's not talking about being a plant. The lyrics are from the Bocanada CD, and the translation is my own.
PUENTE
Hoy te busqué en la rima que duerme
con todas las palabras
si algo callé es porque entendí todo
menos la distancia
desordené átomos tuyos
para hacerte aparecer
(un día más, un día más…)
arriba el sol abajo el reflejo
de cómo estalla mi alma
ya estás aquí y el paso que dimos
es causa y es efecto
cruza el amor yo cruzaré los dedos
y gracias por venir gracias por venir
adorable puente
se ha creado entre los dos.
cruza el amor
yo cruzaré los dedos y
gracias por venir
gracias porvenir
adorable puente…
cruza el amor
cruza el amor por el puente
usa el amor, usa el amor como un puente
BRIDGE
Today I looked for you in the rhyme that sleeps
with all the words
if I kept something quiet it is because I understood everything
but the distance
I disordered your atoms
to make you appear
(one more day, one more day…)
above the sun, below the reflection
of how my soul explodes
now you are here and the step we took
is cause and effect
love crosses I will cross my fingers
thank you for coming thank you for coming
adorable bridge
has been created between us.
love crosses
I will cross my fingers and
thank you for coming
thank you future
adorable bridge
love crosses
love crosses the bridge
use love, use love as a bridge
16.3.07
Done!
I'm done!
With the written portion of it all.
I'm not going to study tonight. I'll look over things tomorrow.
I feel good about almost all of it. There are 2 questions (out of, um, 24 essays that I wrote this week) I don't feel excellent about - one because it was hard, and one because even though it's in my area of specialization and I wrote an excellent answer to it, it is a somewhat provocative question and I'm not sure everyone on my panel will agree with my response. I'm not too worried about the one in my specialization area, because I have enough background to really be able to back it up, and none of the specialists there are on my oral panel. However, the other one... there are some articles I will be reading this weekend.
However, it wasn't too bad, all in all. Part of me enjoyed having the week to spend in concentrated work by myself. Is that sick?
I am also thrilled because yesterday I got a package from South America from my husband. One of the various things in the package was... wait for it... a DVD with episodes of Casado con hijos. I am so thrilled. I am now going to watch it and relax for the afternoon and evening. I feel like I deserve it... but I don't want to relax too much.
With the written portion of it all.
I'm not going to study tonight. I'll look over things tomorrow.
I feel good about almost all of it. There are 2 questions (out of, um, 24 essays that I wrote this week) I don't feel excellent about - one because it was hard, and one because even though it's in my area of specialization and I wrote an excellent answer to it, it is a somewhat provocative question and I'm not sure everyone on my panel will agree with my response. I'm not too worried about the one in my specialization area, because I have enough background to really be able to back it up, and none of the specialists there are on my oral panel. However, the other one... there are some articles I will be reading this weekend.
However, it wasn't too bad, all in all. Part of me enjoyed having the week to spend in concentrated work by myself. Is that sick?
I am also thrilled because yesterday I got a package from South America from my husband. One of the various things in the package was... wait for it... a DVD with episodes of Casado con hijos. I am so thrilled. I am now going to watch it and relax for the afternoon and evening. I feel like I deserve it... but I don't want to relax too much.
14.3.07
I even heard the Passacaglia in c minor
The organ recital this afternoon was short but pleasant. I quite enjoyed it and am looking forward to the one next week.
Jorge Diaz died this week. He's a Chilean playwright that I really enjoyed reading - though I have never seen any of his plays on stage. Plays like Topografia de un desnudo and El cepillo de dientes were eye-opening to me - when I first read them a few years ago, I had no idea that theater could express that sort of social commentary. So, thank you, Mr. Diaz, and may you rest in peace.
Jorge Diaz died this week. He's a Chilean playwright that I really enjoyed reading - though I have never seen any of his plays on stage. Plays like Topografia de un desnudo and El cepillo de dientes were eye-opening to me - when I first read them a few years ago, I had no idea that theater could express that sort of social commentary. So, thank you, Mr. Diaz, and may you rest in peace.
13.3.07
I dream of... sleeping
I'm halfway through the written portion of this... um... experience. I'll be honest, I built it up a lot more in my mind and it hasn't been as difficult as I expected. But, the part I'm most worried about is Thursday morning, so I'll probably keep worrying until the evening of the 21st when they tell me if I pass or not. So keep those positive vibrations coming!
I'm looking forward to sleeping well again.
Speaking of sleeping, I had a very very odd dream last night. I was in my oral exam, sitting at the table and everything but everyone was there but the people who are supposed to be on my panel. Then everyone was asking me about things that I didn't write about but that I still knew the answers too, and then they told me I would have to wait a week to find out how I did. And then I woke up. It was odd. But not a bad dream, just odd.
I'm looking forward to sleeping well again.
Speaking of sleeping, I had a very very odd dream last night. I was in my oral exam, sitting at the table and everything but everyone was there but the people who are supposed to be on my panel. Then everyone was asking me about things that I didn't write about but that I still knew the answers too, and then they told me I would have to wait a week to find out how I did. And then I woke up. It was odd. But not a bad dream, just odd.
12.3.07
And so it begins
So today I had the first set of exams. I'll be honest, they weren't as terrible as I expected. I am even rather optimistic about them. Now, however, I am worrying about the time periods that are coming up. What if there are questions I don't know how to answer? These are the sorts of things I am worrying about.
However, I am putting a moratorium on studying after 730 tonight, and if I can manage to force myself to do it, every night this week. I slept horribly last night and I want to try to rest more. So, I will be efficient with my time before 730, and then relax for the evening. I hope. As much as relaxing is possible at this point.
Thanks for all the support, peoples :-)
However, I am putting a moratorium on studying after 730 tonight, and if I can manage to force myself to do it, every night this week. I slept horribly last night and I want to try to rest more. So, I will be efficient with my time before 730, and then relax for the evening. I hope. As much as relaxing is possible at this point.
Thanks for all the support, peoples :-)
11.3.07
Terrified
Tomorrow the start of the end of it all... I'm terrified. Petrified. Not happy. Poor S has been trying to help me feel better about it, and sometimes does better at that than others. Church this morning was nice - it was Confirmation - but as soon as I left I started worrying again. My tummy's not happy. Just please, God, let me pass these exams. I feel like everything about our future depends on them. Perhaps I am self-aggrandizing a bit there, but I do feel that way. So just pray and hope for the best... because there's nothing else really to do about it at this point.
And I've borrowed this from Cecily in the hopes of distracting myself and laughing at the list of books because I find them to be, um, interesting, but limited.
In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole (I'll just but a big X by those), put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.
1. X The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. X Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
6. The Two Towers (Tolkein)
7. The Return of the King (Tolkein)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L. M. Montgomery)
9. *Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. X Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha
16. +Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. XThe Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. +Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkein)
22.The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. X Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. +Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. *The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. X Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. +1984 (Orwell)
35. +The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. *I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. X Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. X The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
WHAT HAPPEN TO 49???? Missing in action, I guess
50. *She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. +Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. *The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. *The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. X The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. X Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
66. +One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. X The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. +The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. X Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. XShogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. +The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. *The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. *The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. +Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On the Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. *Rebecca (Daphe DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. +Emma (Jane Austen)
87. *Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. +Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90.*Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. +Lord of the Flies (William Golding)
93. *The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. *The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton)
97. *White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. *A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. *The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. +Ulysses (James Joyce)
And I've borrowed this from Cecily in the hopes of distracting myself and laughing at the list of books because I find them to be, um, interesting, but limited.
In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole (I'll just but a big X by those), put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.
1. X The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. X Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
6. The Two Towers (Tolkein)
7. The Return of the King (Tolkein)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L. M. Montgomery)
9. *Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. X Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. +Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha
16. +Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. XThe Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. +Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkein)
22.The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. X Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. +Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. *The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. X Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. +1984 (Orwell)
35. +The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. *I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. X Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. X The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. +Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
WHAT HAPPEN TO 49???? Missing in action, I guess
50. *She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. +Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. +Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. *The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. *The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. X The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. X Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
66. +One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. X The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. +The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. X Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. XShogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. +The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. +The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. *The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. *The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. +Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On the Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. *Rebecca (Daphe DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. +Emma (Jane Austen)
87. *Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. +Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90.*Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. +Lord of the Flies (William Golding)
93. *The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. *The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton)
97. *White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. *A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. *The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. +Ulysses (James Joyce)
9.3.07
An academic's husband
Let's just say S said: "I think you are having fun with your books and your wine."
I love him to pieces.
I love him to pieces.
8.3.07
Happy International Women's Day
What it says in the title.
I'm still studying.
Yesterday we got the dates and panels for the oral portion of our comprehensive exams. I get to go on the first day, which is nice. I admit I was kind of not happy about it all yesterday - but in retrospect a lot of my reaction was the shock of opening an email and seeing my panel and when I have to do everything. I just want to write wonderful essays and be done with it. I'm definitely ready to move on to reading new books rather than rehashing the books I've been obsessing over for the past two years. I suppose that is just how it is. I am bad at waiting.
I'm still studying.
Yesterday we got the dates and panels for the oral portion of our comprehensive exams. I get to go on the first day, which is nice. I admit I was kind of not happy about it all yesterday - but in retrospect a lot of my reaction was the shock of opening an email and seeing my panel and when I have to do everything. I just want to write wonderful essays and be done with it. I'm definitely ready to move on to reading new books rather than rehashing the books I've been obsessing over for the past two years. I suppose that is just how it is. I am bad at waiting.
6.3.07
5 weird things
5 Weird things about me (it was going to be 10, but I need to get back to work soon)
1. When I eat bite size candies, I have to have the same number on each side of my mouth. When I was younger all things also had to be color matched, but now it's just with Skittles.
2. I love reorganizing my bookshelves, and keeping a spreadsheet of my "library." As I look over in that general direction... my hands are itching to reorganize. No! Not yet!
3. When potatoes sprout it makes me want to pull my hair out. I through them out, unless S is around to make the sprouts disappear for me.
4. I am physically incapable of throwing out an aluminum can or plastic bottle. They did a good job on me in Kindergarten about the importance of recycling.
5. I'm pickier than a 5 year old about my food. It's not so bad now that I cook for myself, but there is always a fear that someone is going to serve me food I can't/won't eat. The worst is when someone eats tuna followed by a banana, in my office. I think I would rather starve. And the banana smell really does nauseate me.
Well there are 5 to start with... perhaps later I'll come up with another 5, or I'll just not come back to it.
1. When I eat bite size candies, I have to have the same number on each side of my mouth. When I was younger all things also had to be color matched, but now it's just with Skittles.
2. I love reorganizing my bookshelves, and keeping a spreadsheet of my "library." As I look over in that general direction... my hands are itching to reorganize. No! Not yet!
3. When potatoes sprout it makes me want to pull my hair out. I through them out, unless S is around to make the sprouts disappear for me.
4. I am physically incapable of throwing out an aluminum can or plastic bottle. They did a good job on me in Kindergarten about the importance of recycling.
5. I'm pickier than a 5 year old about my food. It's not so bad now that I cook for myself, but there is always a fear that someone is going to serve me food I can't/won't eat. The worst is when someone eats tuna followed by a banana, in my office. I think I would rather starve. And the banana smell really does nauseate me.
Well there are 5 to start with... perhaps later I'll come up with another 5, or I'll just not come back to it.
3.3.07
At least I'm not dreaming about it
Oddly enough, and despite my minor freak-out last night, I was really productive today. And I haven't freaked out at all.
Last night, when S and I got off the phone I wasn't sleepy, so I was doing some more reading in giant Cambridge History of X Literature, when I found myself distracted at the thought of how my oral exams are going to be. Now, I definitely have professors that I would really like to have on my panel, and some that I would rather not have. I have no say in the matter - it is entirely up to scheduling coincidence. So instead of imagining how people might be on my committee, I was thinking about who would come to watch my oral defense - I know a few of my friends want to come to support me, which is so sweet of them. But then I was thinking of the whole process - once you finish, you and the observers leave and wait outside while the professors inside confer, and then they call the test taker back in to tell you your results. I was imagining how I might react if I don't pass everything. I mean, I should, but still. I don't want to cry in front of people! But I am horrible at not crying when I want to cry. So I had a minor freak out and I admit, tears were shed. At that point I decided that reading about poetic movements of the 20th century wasn't doing it for me and turned off the light to listen to the BBC. To my knowledge, I didn't have any dreams about the exams... at least, not any that I remember.
So this morning, I dragged myself out of bed (Aside: why, o why, does the NPR station I have on my bedroom radio have such a weird Saturday morning schedule? The station I have the radio tuned to in the living room has Weekend Edition, Car Talk, Whaddya Know, and Classical Music. The one in my room has Weekend Edition really early in the morning, that is, before I wake up, then a rebroadcast of the Diane Rehm (Sp?) show, which I can't stand, followed by This American Life, which I also tend not to like. Ugh. But they have the BBC at night! Their saving grace... maybe I should just get up earlier on the weekends.) and did work. I made it all the way though the Cambridge History, I cleaned the apartment (tile floors included, as well as breaking out the pink spring tablecloth!), and I now feel 1000% better about the time period I am most worried about. It's amazing what one day's concerted studying can do.
I'm hoping for big things tomorrow, as well. I'm off to church in the morning - I hope - even though bad weather has kept me home the last few weeks. I've also decided that, even though I can't properly do anything Lenten until this horrible horrible experience of exams is over, I am going to try to go to the Wednesday noon organ recitals and evening service with meal, as a way to clear my mind and focus my energy. We will see if I follow through on that... I find myself WANTING to do things at church, but the timing is off, or I have to walk a bit too far (it is a good 25-30 minute walk from my house). But I need something to get me out of the house and away from worrying or obsessively reviewing, useful though those other activities can be. That is what all of the other days of the week are for.
Last night, when S and I got off the phone I wasn't sleepy, so I was doing some more reading in giant Cambridge History of X Literature, when I found myself distracted at the thought of how my oral exams are going to be. Now, I definitely have professors that I would really like to have on my panel, and some that I would rather not have. I have no say in the matter - it is entirely up to scheduling coincidence. So instead of imagining how people might be on my committee, I was thinking about who would come to watch my oral defense - I know a few of my friends want to come to support me, which is so sweet of them. But then I was thinking of the whole process - once you finish, you and the observers leave and wait outside while the professors inside confer, and then they call the test taker back in to tell you your results. I was imagining how I might react if I don't pass everything. I mean, I should, but still. I don't want to cry in front of people! But I am horrible at not crying when I want to cry. So I had a minor freak out and I admit, tears were shed. At that point I decided that reading about poetic movements of the 20th century wasn't doing it for me and turned off the light to listen to the BBC. To my knowledge, I didn't have any dreams about the exams... at least, not any that I remember.
So this morning, I dragged myself out of bed (Aside: why, o why, does the NPR station I have on my bedroom radio have such a weird Saturday morning schedule? The station I have the radio tuned to in the living room has Weekend Edition, Car Talk, Whaddya Know, and Classical Music. The one in my room has Weekend Edition really early in the morning, that is, before I wake up, then a rebroadcast of the Diane Rehm (Sp?) show, which I can't stand, followed by This American Life, which I also tend not to like. Ugh. But they have the BBC at night! Their saving grace... maybe I should just get up earlier on the weekends.) and did work. I made it all the way though the Cambridge History, I cleaned the apartment (tile floors included, as well as breaking out the pink spring tablecloth!), and I now feel 1000% better about the time period I am most worried about. It's amazing what one day's concerted studying can do.
I'm hoping for big things tomorrow, as well. I'm off to church in the morning - I hope - even though bad weather has kept me home the last few weeks. I've also decided that, even though I can't properly do anything Lenten until this horrible horrible experience of exams is over, I am going to try to go to the Wednesday noon organ recitals and evening service with meal, as a way to clear my mind and focus my energy. We will see if I follow through on that... I find myself WANTING to do things at church, but the timing is off, or I have to walk a bit too far (it is a good 25-30 minute walk from my house). But I need something to get me out of the house and away from worrying or obsessively reviewing, useful though those other activities can be. That is what all of the other days of the week are for.
1.3.07
mammoth
Wow that was a long review session. Useful, but mammoth in ... ok I don't know how long a mammoth was, but I imagine they were long as well as large. Right?
Crunch time is on. Exams in 10 days. I can do it, right?
In happier news, I bought my ticket to go to Chile in May today. It was the least expensive ticket to Santiago that I have ever purchased. That was actually quite pleasant. I am so excited to go - I get to see my husband in a little over 2 months! That's really not that long, is it?
Crunch time is on. Exams in 10 days. I can do it, right?
In happier news, I bought my ticket to go to Chile in May today. It was the least expensive ticket to Santiago that I have ever purchased. That was actually quite pleasant. I am so excited to go - I get to see my husband in a little over 2 months! That's really not that long, is it?
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