30.9.06

My kitchen is part of my kingdom

I am yet again experimenting in my kitchen this afternoon.

Yesterday, I made an approximation of a churro or cuchufli, which was delicious but I did have some challenges to overcome (mainly, that I hate frying things and hence am bad at it) and my house still has the lingering smell of fried foods, which isn't too pleasant. While today's challenge does require a small bit of frying, it really is a small bit.

So what is it that I am planning to make? POTSTICKERS! My favoritest food. I've made them at home with my parents with an actual recipe before, but this will be the first time I have done them on my own. I hope they turn out well.

For those that might not know about my very happy relationship with potstickers - when I was smaller and we went to a Chinese buffet sometimes on the weekends, it was all you can eat, my parents only had to pay for the little kid price (because I was at that point in life a little kid), and I would clear the place out of potstickers. I just love them. Also interestingly, I remember calling them "Peking Ravioli" when we were small - and that is evidentally a term unique to Boston (thanks to Joyce Chen). I, of course, had no idea. But now I'm going to try to not make my kitchen too messy since I finally got it cleaned up from yesterday, and to enjoy whatever masterpiece might result.

*UPDATED* I finished my delicious potstickers. And they are mine, all mine! And they are delicious. I am pleased. Here's a pretty picture:


My cell phone doesn't take awesome pictures, but there you have it. So I bought some Mirin (=sweet sake) at the grocery to use in my cooking and - get this - they didn't card me for it. I think it's the first time in life that I have bought something with alcohol in it at the grocery and they didn't ask for ID. I don't think it is because I look any older though - they probably didn't realize Mirin is 8% Alc. by volume. Either way, I just realized that, just now. And it made me laugh.

27.9.06

Earth is awesome



See that shiny dot? That's Earth from Saturn. It's awesome. Go APOD!

We can be smart, too

A few observations from this morning... OK only one because the others are just student things (Yes, class ends on time. And no, I will not go to your party.)

Perhaps I am just of the younger and more technology obsessed generation of graduate students, but it's kind of ridiculous that people send emails to a school list complaining about it being MAJOR SPAM! (direct quote), and six or seven people ditto that, and on and on... YOU ARE THE SPAMMER, dear email sender. Please stop. Like, now.

Though I can laugh at them. And I do.

For smart people, we can be sort of stupid sometimes, can't we?

26.9.06

Xao to yet another enjoyable teleserie

Xao, Descarado.


My teleserie since March has ended. While at times it was confusing and it definitely didn't get the ratings it deserved, I truly enjoyed it. Descarado, you were the (relatively) thinking person's teleserie. And I enjoyed watching you. I just wish more people did, too.

I appreciated the science fiction story line, as well as many strong female characters that are not particularly typical, shall we say, in my favorite television shows. And though I'm surprised at some of the ways things worked out, I am overall pleased with what happened. Silvina stayed on the island with her adopted family, R2 got back his original face (and is now Rafael) and stayed with Silvina, Franco left the lucrative business to Pantaleon, Renato went away and is alone alone alone because he is a bad person, and Carmen (A7) and Amanda switched so Carmen stays with Mauro and Amanda with T9 (whose real name we still don't know). Franco stays with Ana Maria, and Tomas and Carolyne are getting married... basically, most things are well. And I'll miss the entertainment.

I feel this way everytime a teleserie that I follow ends, though. I felt this way with Machos, and then with Brujas, and then with Gatas y tuercas, and now with Descarado. Though I admit, style wise, I really like Silvina and Carmen in Descarado. They made me think about getting bangs. Not that I would, but I have thought about it. They're that powerful. And strong women! Yes! So Charly Tango, I have some high expectations of you. Please live up to them.

Elitism

It is somewhat odd that I can connect Mark Zuckerburg to the Higher Education Report. But oh, I can.

First to Mark Zuckerburg. For my (few) readers who might not know, this is the guy who came up with facebook. I admit, I like facebook, I like being able to keep in touch with friends from college and reconnect with people I knew when I was younger. Realistically, without this medium, I would have lost a lot of these contacts. However, this whole opening to the whole world really defeats the purpose of the service. If you want to be connected to the whole world, then you go to myspace. Facebook was first for "elite" colleges, then for most all colleges, then for high schoolers, too, then for some businesses, and now... I am not arguing that Facebook was some utopian online community where there weren't weird people (oh there were and are), but if you create a niche product (which is what it arguably was), then why do you make it leave its niche when there are other products available that serve the non-niche market?

Add to this the fact that every time I hear the guy speak, I want to throw something. Perhaps he is aware of it and perhaps he is not, but his tone is really quite arrogant and frustrating. When it's available, listen to the way he says things on his NPR Morning Edition interview. Yes, he wants us to use our service, but he obviously *knows* better than we do what it is that we want. He can do whatever he wants with the business model, but when it comes to reading the minds of millions of college students (and now, the world!), please. Learn humility, because you certainly don't show it.

So what, you might ask, does this have to do with the Higher Education Commission's report? There has been much written about the report in various venues, some extolling the report, others taking it down point by point, and yet others showing something approximating a middle ground. I think that the problem with the Higher Education Commission's report is that it fails to recognize what the varied purposes of higher education are. Perhaps my view is slanted, because I did attend and succeed at one of the "elite" schools. Perhaps I have higher expectations than I should of what students should know and be able to do coming out of high school. Perhaps I am bitter that this Commission appears to care more about the degree as a certification towards getting a better job without considering the vast range of motivations behind attending colleges of any kind. Again, I'm biased towards the liberal arts, learn for learning's sake form of higher education. But the idea of testing a liberal arts education mandated by the government doesn't sit right with me.

Why, you might ask, does it not sit well with me? I think standardized testing is inherently flawed as it reinforced societal biases, as well as taking valuable classroom time away from actual pedagogical exercise to teach students how to succeed on said standardized tests. Higher education, though today used as just another credential to get a job, isn't necessarily for everyone. There, I said it. Call me elitist if you well, but not everyone is suited or desires the challenges that higher education provides. In the ideal world, employers would not require a bachelor's degree if the job did not require skills and knowledge acquired through said degree. However, we do not live in an ideal world. Employers' demands and business world trained trustees and administrators have, in my mind unfortunately, changed the atmosphere of higher education as have student expectations of a product or services. News flash to the world: education is not fundamentally a business enterprise. It should not be run as such. We need to value actual learning outcomes and processes; I especially emphasize the processes as they are many times much more useful in life than the actual outcomes.

So, in this mania to quantify and assess everything, how can we assess a learning process? In my mind, we shouldn't even have to assess it, but the presence in higher education of many students who are not there to learn, but rather to get the degree, would necessitate such action. My gut reaction as someone who loves learning and had to sit in classes with people who really didn't would be to get rid of the people who don't want to learn, but that would only help the small number of us who actually appear to care about learning. To be honest, I am not sure that most higher education is necessarily "broken" right now, with the exception of the high price tag and partisan (ahem Horowitz) attacks on academics. As much as I would love to live in a world where all students wanted to learn, realistically, that would never happen. I admit, I don't have a solution. I think whoever does would be an awesome person, but that no one would ever listen. Because that happens.

Another issue brought up by the Commission's suggestion of assessment of outcomes is a placement of worth on higher education. Specifically, it deals with a single body standardizing an infinite number of varieties in curriculum and specialization. It also brings ideological issues into play much more starkly than in the current system; in a field such as my own, who decides what the canon is? This is infinitely problematic within my own field and is constantly being revisited and revised; no program has the exact same canonical list. How can a governmental body assume that a student in X literature should know A, B, and C? Would that not just reinforce simplistic understandings of material and make ideological judgments of the worth of A, B, and C, not to mention J, K, and L that were left off the test?

The connection between these disparate ideas? Both Mark Zuckerburg and the Commission's narrow view of worth in higher education are "reforms" that ostensibly democratize their areas, that is, facebook and higher education. However, these entities thrive on elitism! Removing the intellectual from both of these removes the unique identity of both. Making facebook open to everyone defeats the purpose of the service. Everyone having equal ACCESS to higher education is key. However, the people of the US need to recognize that our country is not filled with people who want to study for itself, rather, they study for the certificate and learn nothing along the way. If we truly wish to reform higher education, it should be from within each institution (as opposed to governmentally imposed) with a focus as to the profile of student that it serves. The function of a community college is dramatically different from that of an R1 university.

All of this worry about the *quality* of higher education, in my mind, is not really important until we get our K-12 system to a better place. How can we expect students to succeed in higher education when they do not recieve the tools to do so in K-12? The answer is not to lower the expectations in higher education, for that hurts everyone involved. Hold students, teachers, administrators, parents, politicans (ugh school boards) accountable, but don't limit imagination through excessive testing. And don't forget that we don't all have to be the same thing in the end.

25.9.06

And it's Monday night.

I've gone into crazy study mode... which is fine, I guess, but I do find myself wondering what it is I was doing before I was in study mode. It's somewhat odd.

I've also lately felt quite lonely. Though I am doing well what with school and all, I really miss S, and my parents, and my siblings, and yeah. To be honest, I prefer to be alone if I can't be with S or my family. I'm not sure if that is a good thing, though.

I had to watch El Crimen del Padre Amaro which I have seen several times before, and it was quite interesting yet again. I did, however, get quite annoyed when reading through IMDB's reader reviews - over half of them were Latin American males (who of course have to proclaim their condition as such for *credibility*) who say that the movie is bad because the characters are poorly drawn, it's too much like a telenovela, it shouldn't criticize the Church, it should criticize other types of corruption because religion *doesn't matter,* etc, etc. Besides their attempts to establish authority, they had vapid comments that did not contribute to a coherent view of the film. Besides which, if they had paid attention to detail while they were watching the film, they might understand it better. Then they complain that nothing was resolved in the end - without realizing it is not the point for everyone to live happily ever after. While they complain about it being too much like a telenovela, they don't like it when it doesn't resolve as a telenovela would. If you are going to go out of your way to write a comment about a film, at least be consistent.

I do admit, I have quite a bit more to say about the film. And I know that I didn't qualify all of my above statements, despite my complaint about consistency in online film criticism - though part of it may have to do with different definitions of criticism. For me it is more about interpretation, whereas for many of these reviewers, it is simply about complaints. I did, however, appreciate the comment that brought Brechtian theory into it. Also - why were there no women writing these reviews? Yet another mystery to be solved...

24.9.06

Quick update

This weekend has been somewhat, well, odd. I spent most of yesterday working on a paper topic, and went to a very late concert with a friend. While it was nice to be out with my friend, I will admit the music wasn't what I expected, at all. But it was a nice time, just somewhat odd.

This morning I got installed as a church school teacher. Go us. Though they didn't put any of the teachers above 5th grade in the bulletin. But I am OK with that, since half the time they print my name they manage to spell it incorrectly. Oh, well.

The rest of my day is scheduled for studying and cooking. Hopefully more studying than cooking.

22.9.06

Darth Colbert

You can't go wrong with this clip. It joins two of the things I appreciate most - Star Wars and criticizing Bush. Enjoy!

the chef

Continuing with my fondness for faux-ethnic food (ie recipes that I sort of make up myself - were I a chef, I might call them something fusion, but I'm not), I made a bastardized version of Sukiyaki, which the Joy of Cooking book as well as about.com inform me is known as the "Japanese Friendship Dish." Now, I am not overly fond of Japanese food, mostly because I don't eat anything that comes out of the sea or shoreline. I do, however, like gyoza, as well as beef. Hmmm beef. So I made Sukiyaki, to my own tastes.

My version had beef, tofu (yay for protein), scallions, onions, water chestnuts, and bamboo shoots. I just used broth, soy sauce, and sugar for the bit at the end. And I admit, it was mighty delicious. I just finished it up for lunch. And it was still mighty delicious. So here I have yet another recipe that I like. A lot. I did leave out the raw egg part, which didn't appeal to me. And I couldn't find some ingredients that I might want to try in my next one. Either way it was lots of fun, partially because I had never cooked with tofu before.

21.9.06

Leaves aren't quite falling but


Happy Autumn! Arriving to this day means that we have (in the Northern Hemisphere, at least) survived the hell that is summer weather and are now moving into the *best* time of year! The air gets cooler and crisper, and there is just something that makes me happy in the scent on a crisp fall day. I don't know what it is, to be exact, but it is one of my favorite moments. Huzzah for autumn!

19.9.06

Sniff

Things were going so well. And then I wake up all stuffy again. Not cool.

Was it S having to blow his nose every 5 minutes over the phone? Can you transmit a cold through a phone line and across continents? Or are my allergies back? ugh. This sucks.

18.9.06

Chilean Independence and Medieval storytelling...


Feliz 18! Today is Chilean Independence Day. I wish I were there so that I could have the day off, spend it with family, have asado, drink pisco sour, chicha, and wine, dance cueca, and basically enjoy myself.

I have been watching a lot of Cadfael recently. It is ostensibly a way to "get into" an early 13th century Spanish text, but I really just like Cafael a lot. Unfortunately the library doesn't have all of the episodes - there are only two left there that I haven't watched yet. Oh, I love Cadfael. As much as I enjoy Poirot and other Mystery! series, I really like Cadfael best. Woohoo for Derek Jacobi as a Benedictine monk who solves crimes, usually murder. Je, je.

15.9.06

They had so many books...

I saw something very cute this morning. A mother and her son were walking out of one of the libraries on campus and the boy pointed to another building, which also happens to be a library, and asked what was there. His mother said "That is another library, because they have so many books that they didn't all fit in there!" (there being the library they just left) The little boy grinned, said "cool!" and started running towards the other building.

Seriously, it warmed my heart.

14.9.06

Random information, in chapters!

These are silly, but I want a break from Medieval Spanish Poetry. I especially appreciate that it is broken into chapters.

1. Where did you take or get your profile picture?
Woohoo for Yahoo Avatars. Especially when I get to make "me" wear leggings. But not those stirrup leggings, those were uncomfortable when I was a kid.
2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Brown corduroys, blue lace trim tank top under a dark red vneck. Plus garnet earrings and my favorite necklace (faith, hope, and love!), watch, 2 rings.
3. What is your current problem?
oooh dear... I suppose the most current one is the pile of dishes in the sink.
4. What makes you most happy?
Being with S, playing organ or piano, dancing, seeing good films, watching my teleserie, being with my family... Republicans losing... so many little every day things, too.
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
Well I am now listening to NPR's All Things Considered, but before that came on a bit ago I was listening to Camille Saint-Saƫns' Rhapsodies (3) on Breton Themes for organ.
6. Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?
well, my grandparents...
7. Do you ever watch MTV?
Present tense? No.
8. What's something that really annoys you?
Oh so many things... but most of all, rude people. In other words, people sucking, that would be the #1 annoying thing in my life.

Chapter 1: All About Me
1. Middle name: I've got 2!
2. Nickname(s): I hate nicknames.
3. Current location: Here
4. Eye color: Green (duh. Look at the avatar...)

Chapter 2: Family
1. Do you live with your parents?: No, they are far away. :-(
2. Do you get along with your parent(s)?:Yes. Basically, my parents are awesome.
3. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?: No one's business but theirs, but I will say that I see them as a model of a good marriage.
4. Do you have any Siblings?: Oh si. 2.

Chapter 3: favourite...
1. Ice Cream: CHOCOLATE. Though just chocolate, I don't like it with nuts or any of that crap. Occasionally fudge swirl strikes my fancy, though.
2. Season: Fall!
3. Shampoo/conditioner: Hm. I like Redken's Fresh Curls, but I don't use it all the time for budgetary reasons.

Chapter 4: Do You..
1. Dance in the shower?: Dance? No. Sing? yes.
2. Write on your hand?: No, Dad's yelling at me for it finally broke me of the habit. That, and it hurts!
3. Call people back?: I try to.
4. Believe in love?: Yes, obvio.
5. Sleep on a certain side of the bed: Usually. Except for when I decide to sleep in the middle.
6. Any bad habits?: If you know me, you know what most of them are.

Chapter 5: Have You...
1. Broken a bone?: No. I'm that cool.
2. Sprained stuff?: Have I? I don't think that time in elementary school was really a sprain.
3. Had physical therapy?: I don't think so.
4. Gotten stitches?: Nope.
5. Taken Pain killers?: Ibuprofen! Acetominophen! (note that I use the generic names, jejeje.)
6. Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling?: eh no.
7. Been stung by a bee?: Yes, once, I was about 5 and it was going after my soda, which was unacceptable. But then, oddly enough, the adult put a closed cold can of soda on the sting. Hm. Yes, odd.
8. Thrown up at the dentist?: Yuck, no.
9. Sworn in front of your parents?: Have I? I don't think so but I might be mistaken.
10. Had detention?: Of course not.

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1. Movie(s)?: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. (i've had a lot of reading)
2. Person to text you?: S
3. Person you called?: Student loan peeps
4. Person you hugged?: Was it S? because that means I haven't hugged anyone in a long time.
5. Person you tackled?: I generally don't tackle people.
6. Thing you touched?: My green pen, which I use to underline important passages in photocopies.
7. Thing you ate?: My Wowie cake with Buttercream frosting. So delicious!
8. Thing you drank?: A glass of Santa Ema cab with lunch. (though I admit it didn't go so well with the stir fry. And now I know.)
9.Thing you said?: "Idiots," muttered under my breath when I got off the phone with formentioned student loan peeps.
10. Friend you miss the most that has moved?: All of them!

13.9.06

Dear readers!

Hello dear readers!

I know few people read this anymore (sad!) but I just keep on going.

Today was an interesting day. I felt alert and prepared until I got to class to teach, when I just felt prepared. I have no idea where the alertness went. But it's OK, because class went well.

I'm a little annoyed with Canal 13. They are showing the Under 23 Chile Peru game rather than my teleserie! Not cool!

12.9.06

Music makes me happy

Today was a gray day, but for me a happy day. Why, one might ask? It is really quite simple. I got to play organ! It was great. Really fantastic.

Well let me modify that. My playing wasn't as fantastic as I might have liked - my keyboard skills are still up to snuff (duh!) but my feet... well let's just say my legs are having a harder time remembering what an octave interval is than my fingers have with anything on the organ. I started out working on some pieces I used to be able to play almost in my sleep from the Orgelbuchlein, and they actually caused me a bit of trouble. I just need to focus on the pedalwork and getting the parts back together. I also worked on a Bach Fugue, which went a little better, and I actually was pretty good for the modern piece I gave at a recital over a year ago. The only frustrating thing about that piece is that I didn't have all of the memories to make the register changes. But I was doing the swell pedal without even thinking about it! My hymns are also a bit off - but I find that every time I return to a hymn I haven't played in awhile, I remember how it is supposed to sound - or how I like to sing it - and my coordination between keyboard and pedal doesn't always keep up. But that is just practice. Which is what I can now do! Yippee!!

My mom always says that music is cheaper than therapy. While I definitely subscribe to this, I had forgotten how much I love playing. I have a keyboard in my house and all, but it's not the same as an actual piano (as soon as I have space and money, well you can guess...) Besides which, I don't have the pedal connectors and a few octaves are missing. And the touch is weird. But anyways, while I was playing today I could forget about all of the little things that were bothering me or stressing me and focus on my music. I wanted to skip around after I left the church. Unfortunately my happiness and de-stressing from playing didn't last forever (some people are jerks and don't know how to wait in line...), but now even just thinking of it makes me smile. I have made myself a practice schedule and a list of the pieces I would like to concentrate on - I am so happy! Yay for music!

10.9.06

All kinds of awesome!

So do you, dear reader, want to know what is all kinds of awesome? Of course you do! And tonight's answer is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Yes, it is that fabulous. I pretended to read Facundo while I watched it. Let me tell you, Indy's growing positive relationship with his father is a gazillion times more interesting. Besides which, watching him punch the Nazis is always fun.

Also fabulous? Church is fabulous. Seriously, it is.

And now that I have made myself sound like a... well... pick your stereotype, I really am going to read Facundo. Really.

9.9.06

I saw a new movie today!

I think I am going to make a rule that I am not allowed to look at the news more than X number of times a day. Because it is getting ridiculous.

I saw El Aura today. It is the last film Fabian Bielinsky made, and I'll admit I like Nueve Reinas much better. El Aura was just, well, somewhat predictable and very (unnecessarily) slow. However, in the long periods when nothing was happening, it was fun to make jokes about. So in that aspect it is positive. But in general, how can I put this? It's a film that buffs will like. In technical terms, it was quite well done, I liked the camera work and the music quite a bit. I suppose it was the plot, more than any other aspect of the movie, that made me feel a bit let down. And no matter how good the camera work is, I do like most of my movies to have a good plot - and it is not a good plot if, having never seen the film and not remembering the trailer, I can predict with accuracy what is going to happen. So, if you want an intersting film to see with people with a sense of humor, watch it, but if you are only going to watch one Bielinsky film, go with Nueve Reinas.

7.9.06

De La Maza

Yes, yes, this is my third post in a single day. But I have lots to say.

Has anyone in the US ever heard of Francisco De La Maza? Probably not. He's the mayor of one of the comunas of Santiago, Las Condes. While Joaquin Lavin, previously my most disliked Chilean politician, appears to have mellowed a bit, De La Maza just makes me angry. (Incidentally, Lavin was mayor of Las Condes, too.) The first thing De La Maza wanted to do was to close off the streets in one neighborhood during the night, supposedly to fight prostitution. Problem? That it is entirely illegal to block roads and sidewalks. His proposal is in the courts right now. But to look at that issue seriously, what would closing off one area do? It would annoy a lot of people who have legitimate business in the area (the neighborhood has a lot of hotels, restaurants, stores), for one. It would also just push the prostitutes to adjacent areas, which in no way actually solves the problem.

I thought that idea was silly, but for me at least, it gets better. The FDA finally approved Plan B for over the counter sale in the US. Oddly enough, Chile is having a Plan B controversy. I think most of the opposition stems from the false belief that Plan B causes abortion (and if you want citations on that, let me know and I'll get them to you.) The government has mandated that public health clinics must distribute Plan B to women over the age of 14 who ask for it, and that those between the ages of 14 and 18 do not need parental consent. Part of the purpose of this push is to allow poorer women access to the same reproductive health options as wealthy women. I think it is a good idea to make the medication available, especially considering the high numbers of (young!) teenage pregnancy. A lot of politicians (UDI, RN, and the Christian Democrats) are against Plan B because they don't really understand it. They aren't against condoms (finally)... Ugh. So, what is De La Maza's take on all of this? He is quoted in the paper as calling Plan B (in Chile, Postinor-2) abortive and saying that even though the law says that it must be made available to those who ask for it, *he* will only give it to minors who come with their parents. Is he a pharmacist? NO. Is this really any of his business? NO. What is interesting about the controversy, however, is how those who are against reproductive choice are couching their position in terms of personal privacy. "The State shouldn't get involved in this!" The State isn't mandating any particular behavior that would lead to having to use Plan B. It is trying to have more equality in health care! Ugh.

Space-cadet update

I admit that my last post was a bit - um... well... I do admit that I still think humanity is inherently good. And people are going to suck, no matter what. As my friend said (and this is a major paraphrase), the world doesn't need more cynics.

That said, my allergy medicine is sort of working. Except my eyes are dry, I'm still stuffy (though not as bad), and I have a killer headache. I'm hoping these pass, too. However, I feel like a serious space-cadet. No matter how hard I try I find it difficult to concentrate on anything. Uf.

But yeah, people are mostly good. Right?

Humanity is really just a big disappointment

Perhaps my title is a bit of an exaggeration - but there are definitely examples that confirm my great disappointment in humanity's apparent lack of an inherently good nature. Maybe we really are all horrible people pretending not to be.

In other words, I am having a horrible, miserable day.

In fact, there are many things that have gone wrong today, from people blaming me for things I had nothing to do with, being almost unable to breathe due to allergies (STILL), trying to get medicine to make it so I can breathe only to be told that THEY DONT HAVE IT (and be attended by the spaciest, most uncapable person ever) except for at three times the price. Please, forget that we had a meeting. And even better, be a horrible horrible person who, when no one else is polite enough to get up and give you their seat, be horrible to the sick person with grocery bags. Yes, without saying a word, pick up her bag and drop it on her foot. And to make things even better, when you are getting off (a whole 1 minute ride later), tap her shoulder to tell her she should "be more considerate of the people around her." Yes, because she can't breathe from allergies and her foot hurts from where you dropped her groceries on her, she must be a horrible person. UGH. If I had said anything nearly as rude to her, everyone would say "you are being mean to the pregnant woman!" [Yes this woman was pregnant. So - why did no one else give her a seat? Why does all of the burden fall on me? Because people suck.] But she can say whatever she likes to whomever she likes, basically be a bad person and fall back on the "I'm weak! Waa!" excuse for her bad behavior. I'll admit it, I'm angry.

I know I shouldn't let these things bother me. Taken alone they would be annoying but not make me furious material. I can't honestly remember a time when I have been so angry in the past few years. Sad, yes, but so I-want-to-throw-something-scream-pull-my-hair-our angry, well, no.

All of this, before noon.

Let's see how much worse today can get.

6.9.06

Allergies descend

*cough* *cough* I am having yet another bout of allergies, which does not make me a happy person. In order to breathe, I need to take medicines that make me feel like my brain is fuzzy. I don't like feeling like my brain is fuzzy. I do, however, appreciate Dimetapp. There is no reason that adults should have to take nasty cough syrup when Dimetapp proves that it doesn't have to make you gag.

My teleserie is most definitely ending in the next few days. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it, because it is very different from most of the other teleseries I have followed. Make that all of them. While it is interesting to see how the writers are resolving all of the different conflicts, part of me wishes that Descarado had been more popular, because it really raises some interesting issues. Medical ethics, business management issues, the normal love-jealousy-betrayal, etc. In the last few weeks, there has been a serious questioning by the "originals" as to why they even agreed to hand their lives over to the secret organization in the first place - which then leads to interesting and diverse reflections as to desire and fulfillment. I'll reserve my final judgment on the teleseries' "message" on that until I see what happens with the original Amanda (whose agent fell in love with the man she was supposed to marry, and tried to have Amanda killed so agent could in fact marry man, though other agent saves her and falls in love, becoming more human in the process). Will they make her go back to "her" life? If that is the case, when Amanda has decided that she no longer loves the man and doesn't want anything to do with it, what truly is the most ethical path? We shall see.

4.9.06

The purpose of libraries

Yesterday I was reminded why I never studied in the library as an undergraduate. I had to read a book that was on reserve in the undergrad library here, and man, it was difficult to concentrate. Evidentally people don't really study there, rather they speak so loudly to eachother that you can't help but here about their lives - how they will wait until the last minute to do their bio homework, students of the language I teach (though thankfully not mine) complaining about the program in general and how much they hate foreign language, break-ups, fraternity fantasy football leagues... in a library? Ugh. It was miserable.

While I know some of my friends thought of the library as a social hub, I imagined it as people sitting at the same table with their laptops IMing the person across from them. Libraries, in my mind, are for quiet study, book collection, and occasionally, computer work or coffee purchases. None of this noisy social hub that makes me want to pull my hair out. Perhaps this is more a symptom of my own study habits than anything else - I hate studying outside my house, where I control everything - food, music, temperature, etc. Either way, I plan to continue my avoidance of the other library. Because it smells funny, too.

On a different note, something hates my sinuses. Or is it that my sinuses hate something in the air here? It makes it hard to concentrate on anything when I feel lethargic and unable to breathe. Hopefully it will pass.

Happy Labor Day. Which I spent, technically, laboring. Woot.

3.9.06

More Poetry! Solzhenitsyn!

And here I have more poetry for you all... I rarely read the poetry or fiction in the New Yorker (is that a bad thing? I tend to stick to the articles, though S likes the fiction) but I actually read this one and liked it quite a bit. I remember looking through my parents books when I was smaller and besides seeing lots of books in a script I couldn't read (and still haven't learned... no Cyrillic for me...) I saw lots of books with Russian authors. I remember reading "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" and being shocked yet moved. So here is a poem he wrote, translated from the Russian by his son Ignat, that appeared in the New Yorker a few weeks ago.

Prisoner's Right
Yoke of years that we lived in prison
Grants no rights: we're entitled to naught.
Not to pulpits. Nor lecturns. Nor glory.
Nor power. Nor halos of saints.
Nor in memoirs to mix with fatigue and
Our colorless ashen complaints,
Nor that armies of youths should now run astride life
by the path that we treaded for them.
All will go as 'twill go. There's no point
To pound the wheel's rut in advance.
An illuminated interior suffering core:
May, for everything, this be our one recompense.
It's the loftiest gem of all earthly gemstones,
And, to carry it home undefiled,
Let, of our phantom rights, then, at the very least be
Our secreted right to an equal revenge.
There's a number. So endlessly long.
Comprehensible just to Chinese and to Russians.
All those fallen, extinguished, without guilt or trace.
In that number we're nil upon nil upon nil...
Our right is but one:
To be rancorless sons
of our luckless and sad Russian land.
Let our grievances burn, rot, decay deep inside.
To the outside we'll spring living shoots, only then,
Looking up, will our Russia's fatigued countryside
See the sun it awaited so long.
-- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn