wow i wish i were there

I'm feeling lonely again. I miss my husband a lot. I was looking at all the wedding pictures again and the only thing I really want right now is to be there with him. He told me yesterday that he was looking at the pictures too, so at least I am in good company. I just miss him a lot, and if I stop studying too long to think about anything else, I get upset and sad. So I suppose my way of dealing with this would be to... keep studying. But I miss him!

I am ready for it to not be cold anymore. We finally got a dusting where I live, which is fine and all but I'm cold, my tan is almost gone and I want it to be May so I can go back to Chile and see my husband! It's funny because today I just want to be there. Most days I want him to be here. But today, for whatever reason, I really wish I were in Chile.

In more Chile news, people still complain about Transantiago. I was describing it to some friends today and they were like, hey that is like a developed country public transportation system! I think that is part of the point, which is funny, because the way people react is, um, stubborn and close minded. Also in Chile news, on the reality show Fama, some people I like got to go back into the academia to keep competing, which I think is really fun. Maybe I just watch too much Chilean TV. Just you all wait until Casado con hijos 3 starts in March... muwahahaha.

the sky spitting ice sucks

Wow I'm studytastic. It's kind of crazy.

Part of me really just wants to sit down and read all the Harry Potter books again, and when I finish book 6 magically have the new one appear. But I, like the rest of humankind, have to wait. Alas.

My husband went back to the beach this morning. I'm jealous of course, because I'd like to go to the beach. Especially because it is spitting ice outside - too cold for rain, too warm for snow. It sucks. But I enjoyed my class today and teaching (though it was kinda sorta really hectic but no one broke a chair today) and I'm looking forward to my study meeting tomorrow, because I own the material Yay me.

I just need to keep this positive attitude :-) and share it with the world!

Who doesn't love Sor Juana?

In the spirit of my studies... and this is not at all a reflection on my husband, who is wonderful. But it's a pretty great poem. Especially when you consider it was written by a Mexican nun in the seventeenth century. I can't find an English translation online, so I apologize to my readers who cannot read Spanish. For your benefit, the first verse goes something like, "Stubborn men who accuse / women without reason / without seeing that they are the motivation / of that which they blame."

"Hombres necios"

Hombres necios que acusáis
a la mujer sin razón,
sin ver que sois la ocasión
de lo mismo que culpáis:

si con ansia sin igual
solicitáis su desdén,
¿por qué queréis que obren bien
si las incitáis al mal?

Combatís su resistencia,
y luego con gravedad
decís que fue liviandad
lo que hizo la diligencia.

Queréis con presunción necia
hallar a la que buscáis,
para pretendida, Tais,
y en la posesión, Lucrecia.

¿Qué humor puede ser más raro
que el que falta de consejo,
él mismo empaña el espejo
y siente que no esté claro?

Con el favor y el desdén
tenéis condición igual,
quejándoos, si os tratan mal,
burlándoos, si os quieren bien.

Opinión ninguna gana,
pues la que más se recata,
si no os admite, es ingrata
y si os admite, es liviana.

Siempre tan necios andáis
que con desigual nivel
a una culpáis por cruel
y a otra por fácil culpáis.

¿Pues cómo ha de estar templada
la que vuestro amor pretende,
si la que es ingrata ofende
y la que es fácil enfada?

Mas entre el enfado y pena
que vuestro gusto refiere,
bien haya la que no os quiere
y quejaos enhorabuena.

Dan vuestras amantes penas
a sus libertades alas,
y después de hacerlas malas
las queréis hallar muy buenas.

¿Cuál mayor culpa ha tenido
en una pasión errada,
la que cae de rogada
o el que ruega de caído?

¿O cuál es más de culpar,
aunque cualquiera mal haga:
la que peca por la paga
o el que paga por pecar?

Pues ¿para qué os espantáis
de la culpa que tenéis?
Queredlas cual las hacéis
o hacedlas cual las buscáis.

Dejad de solicitar
y después con más razón
acusaréis la afición
de la que os fuere a rogar.

Bien con muchas armas fundo
que lidia vuestra arrogancia,
pues en promesa e instancia
juntáis diablo, carne y mundo.

-- Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, 1651-1695

Sunday morning in February = cold fingers

My brain feels fuzzy this afternoon. It's not a pleasant feeling. I think it has to do with the coffee I drank this morning.

I taught Sunday School today :-) It went quite well. We had a good discussion, and I think the kids appreciated it. Plus I like being at church, once I walk all the way there. It's a bit chilly on Sunday mornings in February, though.

S just left to go to work tonight. It's kind of silly, but I miss him more when he just leaves. I actually sort of want to try. That might be somewhat associated with the brain fuzziness. May can't come soon enough. I've actually been fantasizing about when he gets his green card and moves up here permanently. I can't wait for that moment. That makes me want to cry, too. Marriage is much cooler when you actually live in the same hemisphere as your spouse. I imagine that the same state, nay the same city, would be heavenly.

ABCs of random information

A- Available or Single? happily married, thank you.

B- Best Friend? besides my husband, i have an awesome best buddy. and a great sister, too.

C- Cake or Pie? Cake, duh.

D- Drink of Choice? Right now? Diet Coke

E- Essential Item? Dunno. Cell phone?

F- Favorite Color? All shades of blue!

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? gummy worms, though I can't explain why.

H- Hometown? Of all the places I've lived? Somewhere cold.

I- Indulgence? It changes from week to week, but this week it's lots of ice cream.

J- January or February? I kinda like January. Don't ask why, I can't explain this one either.

K- Kids and names? Not anytime soon... but S and I have discussed it a bit... and we had better have a girl when the time comes, because we can't agree on a boy's name.

L- Life is incomplete without...? The people I love

M- Marriage Date? December 30

N- Number of Siblings? 2

O- Oranges or Apples? Fresh sweet juicy navel oranges

P- Phobias/Fears? Falling from heights, I sometimes get really nervous in crowds, people I love dying... wait, see the worry wart post

Q- Favorite Quote? "Pray as though everything depended on God, work as though everything depended on you." As well as good ole Feijoo: "The ignorant, though they may be many, do not stop being ignorant."

R- Reasons to smile? Life is generally good.

S- Season? Autumn. In the Northern Hemisphere, at least.

T- Tag 3 people? Silly question.

U- Unknown Fact About Me? I went to church choir camp as a kid?

V- Vegetable You Hate? There are actually quite a few... squash, eggplant, mushrooms, radishes... there are more...

W-Worst Habit? Being stubborn and worrying too much. I dwell on things. It's not good.

X- Xrays You've Had? I think just at the dentist

Y- Your Favorite Foods? Generally, pancakes and potstickers. Though not together.

Z- Zodiac? Libra, but I think the whole Zodiac thing is pretty silly and useless.

Transantiago

All of my vaunted ability to get around Santiago easily is now... um... obsolete knowledge. Today is the first day of the new transportation system and I admit, I find it a bit confusing. Not in terms of the concepts, but their maps are horrible and don't give much information.

Not that I'll miss the micros amarillas. Not at all. They scared the crap out of me sometimes, and more often than not I would get motion sick. Which wasn't a good experience at all.

That said, S and I are still trying to figure out the best way for him to get to work tonight. Fun, fun. It's going to be weird in May - all Transantiago routes, you usually have to change buses a lot but at least until August they aren't charging you extra to change, there will be a lot more people in the Metro so we will see how that goes. And you get to pay with the Bip card - if the machines are working. I like the idea of not having to have change, because that was always a pain in the behind. If it all works out the way it is supposed to, it shouldn't be too bad. If it all works. And if everyone can figure out how to get everywhere.

**EVENING UPDATE**: It's actually not that complicated now that I sat down and looked at the recorridos. S's house actually has a lot of transportation options - but there is only one bus that goes near his work, which isn't so cool.

The news is waaaaaay too negative about the whole thing. Basically, people say: we had to wait! We don't know what to take! People, if I, who am not even in the country, can look it up and figure it out, what rock have you been living under, what with information sent to every residence, TV ads, billboards, internet sites with information, a free hotline to call with questions... I think people just don't like change. Secret message to all the annoyed santiaguinos: for a first day, it's not that bad. Nothing starts off without a hitch, especially if it's a redesign of a public transportations system for a city of six million. Really.

worry worry worry wart

I am such a worry wart. And that really needs to stop. So here are some of my worries, so I can look back at them in a few months and (with any luck) chuckle at myself:

• Something about my exams that should help me feel more relaxed and less worried actually had the opposite effect, which is freaking me out now that I realize I am worrying about it.
• S's dog bite from a few days ago is still freaking me out. What if he gets rabies and dies? The only person who is really helping me be reasonable about this is my sister, which is excellent, because S isn't listening to me about it. See a doctor, please, just in case???
• My students worry me, in oh so many ways.
• I have to teach Sunday School this week and I feel like a chanta, I don't know what wisdom I could possibly impart to them or how I can help them grow as young adults.
• what if something happens to my family? what would I do?
• I still can't call S because of the whole being at the beach my calling thing not making a connection bit. I hate that. But he'll be back in the city this weekend. Phew!
  

OK I know I'm kind of blowing things out of proportion. But I am worrying a great deal more than normal and all of these worries seem to be much more important than they really are if I let myself stop freaking out to really think about them.

On the positive side, I haven't had any stress stomachaches, and I have been sleeping well. So this is possibly the least typical way of me manifesting stress. It's a lot less hard on my poor body, but it does make it hard to concentrate sometimes.

I can't wait until April. and May.

surprise!

You know the Bible 93%!

 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
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Wow. I admit I surprised myself. Evidentally I have paid some attention all these years. Go me. :-)

Colder than Antarctica!

I like to revel in the fact that it is indeed colder at my parent's house than it is in Antarctica. And it's not that cold here, relatively.

S went to the beach with his family today, his cell phone doesn't really get reception there and there isn't a land line in the beach house. I am SO not used to not being able to call him up whenever I feel like it. I'm actually still waiting for him to call to let me know they got there OK - but there were no traffic accidents on the news tonight so I'll assume they got there OK. But I'm still worrying.

Just like I worry about the rest of my family out in the cold. I don't know what I would do if something happened to them.

In cheerier news, I am feeling much more confident about two areas that I was very nervous about a few days ago. I had some sort of breakthrough today, which was excellent. I also took a nap - which I think was unrelated to the breakthrough, rather it was a symptom of my eyes being tired.

I'm going to go back to worrying now. Or trying not to. Or both.

who am i

I needed a break from studying...

I am: Ursula K. LeGuin Perhaps the most admired writing talent in the science fiction field.

Which science fiction writer are you?

PS switching over to new blogger was a pain in the behind. they say it's easy. no it's not.