several day's miscellany

Why is it that the movies S and I want to see are not showing at the theaters we can easily get to? That isn't fun.

What isn't fun either is not knowing the plan and having to ask your students about it. I'm not a fan of that so much, either.

What is fun? Getting gelato because you want a change of pace from the Chocolate Fudge Brownie in the freezer. And introducing S to the joys of getting soaked in a summer downpour - no, you aren't cold! And that is just amazing.

What is tiring? Getting a call at 12:30 offering you a bookshelf at a very nice price, walking (in the crazy heat and humidity) with S to get it, and carrying it half of the way home because there you just got tired and left it in your office, hopefully to be picked up later this week in a motor vehicle. My arms are sore and I have a headache; S's arms shake when he lifts things and he has collapsed on the bed. You'd think we're made of stronger stuff. ;-)

And let's have some fun reading on Harry Potter and identity politics, in The American Prospect.

My current approach to literary criticism, that is, what I do

Every text I read, I read as an individual with a history, aesthetic likes and dislikes, and generic preferences. When I finish the text, I analyze my reactions. If I liked it, I note a few details that might explain why (for example, strong feminist themes and decent mechanics in writing), and usually don’t pursue it beyond that, unless larger themes develop, usually in tandem with another text that I liked. However, the texts I don’t like are almost more academically challenging or interesting, because I force myself to think WHY I don’t like them – it is a lot easier to enumerate the things I don’t like about a text that I have a tepid reaction to as opposed to a text that I adore. By this logic, I should study modern poetry. I have more to say about it. But I care about the things I like to read. And there is where I can connect themes. Random novels that share historical figures; views of a specific urban space in the last 15 years in fiction; the mechanics of narrative, between novel and short story; film adaptations, or stories that mirror films that the author has seen/acted in/directed/studied.

My father, while musing upon his own experience in graduate school in (a different foreign language), said something to the effect that success in literature in academia is more learning the crazy theory than actually ruminating on the texts at hand. I certainly felt that way in my lit classes when I studied abroad as an undergraduate. These students, who studied literature and nothing else (there is no equivalent for “area requirements” or a general liberal arts education there) had such a specialized jargon, and in my second language, that I felt intimidated at first. I read Theodor Adorno in translation – in my second language. But when it came time to leave the theory, after the first few weeks, and talk about the actual texts, my native speaker classmates were lost, and only parroted back theory that had no application to the text at hand. Now, I admit that I use Scarry’s Body in Pain, Foucault, etc. when it actually has an application to the theme that I am exploring. It is hard to talk about urban spaces in narrative as space and aesthetic without reading about urban planning theory. I can’t talk about Colonial or Viceregal anything without a historical background, both from contemporary texts to particular events and current scholarship. But to treat a text as if its only importance is the way we can apply Foucault or Butler or Derrida destroys the text as an entity in and of itself, in my opinion. A text is valuable for itself, just as as individuals we are worth a great deal. To limit the interpretation of a text, or contacts it might have with other texts or fields, to one narrow theoretical outlook does not only the text a disservice but also the theory upon which the criticism is based.

It’s like the New Yorker Cartoon with the punchline: “And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?” While specialization is important in my field, you have to keep the bigger picture in mind. And in my own studies, the texts themselves are infinitely more important that the theoretical approach I employ.

work and npr shows

I keep thinking of writing things and then I get distracted - by S, by work, by being in pain, by the heat...

Last weekend felt luxuriously long. Unproductive in some ways, but long. I spent all day Saturday setting my living room set up so that there would be space for the couch that I was getting on Sunday. And getting the couch... was a process. I was exhausted. And then that evening, as I was going to sleep, my cell phone broke in half. IN HALF. 2 pieces. It wasn't my best day, by a stretch.

I'm used to teaching again. What I'm not used to, and doubt that I ever will be, is getting up early. I am finding it much more difficult this week than it was last week. But the group is a good one, and I like teaching things.

I bought some more work clothes last week and they arrived today - though much to my dismay, one of the tops has enormous arm holes. I don't understand how a body can be built for this size that requires arm holes that big. Unless you are an XS or S and have gigantic breasts or shoulders (though not both, the cut wouldn't work there), then this wouldn't fit you. Which is really too bad, because if it would fit, it is pretty cute. Alas, I have way more skirts than tops, and this top was supposed to help me remedy that. Without it, I've acquired a pants, a skirt, and 1 top instead of 2. Whoops. So I'll just keep looking.

A very random thought, since all of the other interesting things I have been thinking about and meaning to post have since escaped me - someone at Marketplace really likes the Mexican band Maná, because bits of their songs keep getting put between stories. It's rather recent. I also find it rather random. But perhaps it is because I actually know the rest of the song.

it's been a week...

Happy Flag Day. Because no one knew that today was Flag Day.

Class goes well. It's exhausting but quite rewarding so far. However, I am definitely looking forward to the weekend, and sleeping past 7 AM. Have I mentioned that I'm not a morning person?

The only thing I have really done besides preps has been cook. My house is still a disaster from when I unpacked... must take care of that at some point...

I was almost freaking out earlier because I need to get a piece of furniture that I purchased, but had no way of transporting to my house. Church saved the day! I emailed one of the pastors and he sent out a call for help, and someone responded. Yay!

I have a few scholarly ideas floating around my head... if I can get my work space straightened up at all, I might even dive in to them. And no, parents, they do not involve translating anything. Sorry there.

1 more day until the weekend... and I don't usually even count them!

oh, grades

Grading time.

I just finished giving the final to my students, and I am now grading. Fun.

Thanks to S's new computer I was very entertained during the exam - I watched TV shows streaming from Chile and on DVD. Not bad. And if I hadn't gotten the wireless working, I had Northanger Abbey to read. Who doesn't enjoy reading Jane Austen?

I get to see my husband Friday morning! I am so excited. I have missed him very much and I am looking forward to spending time together. Plus, I get to see friends! Hang out! Play Playstation! Life will be good. As soon as I get through this pile of grading, and assuming that I can, um, de-clutter my apartment before I leave. But that's totally do-able, right?

A real weekend

This might be hard to believe, but I didn't do any work at all this weekend. And I was definitely OK with that. This is a good step in my workaholism.

What did I do instead? Read other books, watch a few films (one of which, though it raises a lot of cool conversation topics, is way too sexually explicit to use in the classroom), sit in on the Sunday School class, go to sorority meetings... so it's not like I didn't have anything to do.

I like this actually having a weekend. I could get used to it.

identity musings

Given how much I love reading, it’s interesting that I don’t really like writing fiction very much, or lyric anything. I’ve been thinking of this because in a class today we were talking about artistic literary creation and the professor has really encouraged us to think of ourselves as writers as opposed to just students who write essays. When I was younger (meaning before college), I wrote stories, poems, and even though about writing several novels. Since I started college, I’ve left that behind. I like writing essays. Maybe one day I’ll write stories again. And I think I have a feeling as to why I prefer essays. It’s not that essays aren’t personal – even relatively dry academic ones say things about their authors – but I like them because they give me an illusion of anonymity. Yes, I write, and in writing I expose myself. But I feel as if non-fiction essays are much less exposing than novels, stories, poems, even though I love reading fiction as well. I’m terrified of the idea that someone might read something I wrote and think it is horrible. Even though I’m pretty straight-forward, I hate the idea of letting strangers read very personal things, because I feel like my imagination says more about me than the essay topics I choose to pursue. The one essay that I’ve written in the past few years that is incredibly personal is one that I wrote that deals with saying goodbye, and I wouldn’t be comfortable knowing that anyone but those closest to me had read it. Part of me wants to be known as a writer as well as an academic, but a larger part wants anonymity. I’m not a diva, nor am I a hero.

In unrelated musings, I find myself worrying about what happened at Tech. It’s kind of silly, because it’s very unlikely that I would have to deal with a similar situation. But every time I heard a door while I was teaching this morning, I worried. I teach on the third floor of a building. The classroom has one table that can move, which isn’t very sturdy. The desks are bolted to the ground and can’t be moved. I don’t know if you can survive a jump from the windows, because you would land in the concrete outside the basement windows, or maybe in the courtyard with grass and trees but you are still exposed to windows in the hallways. I heard about one professor (Liviu Librescu?) who stood in the door to protect his students. I suppose I am selfish, but I don’t think I would be able to do something similar. I care for my students, but I don’t want to die. Does that make me a bad teacher?

Happy

I am super excited about the fall, mostly because I get to teach a super cool awesome class. It's going to be awesome. That's all I'll say for now.

I am so ready for it to get warmer again. It's not supposed to be so cold mid-April. Though, B: look! It snowed the day after your birthday! Some things never change.

yay for interactive discussions

Yet again, I must just say, wow. I'm exhausted, but I'm very happy.

I've been spending every moment that I haven't been sleeping, showering, or teaching since Sunday working on a presentation that I gave today with a classmate. We were very, very nervous. But it went wonderfully, and I am really pleased with the interaction we had with the rest of the class, and the professor's response. It is sort of amusing, because I feel like I transferred all the stress I have been feeling about my exams to this presentation. I was even up late last night putting the finishing touches on my outline! We were supposed to present for an hour between the two of us, yet we managed to keep going through themes and discussing things for the entire 2.5 hour class, and we still have a lot of themes to talk about next class, which, unfortunately, I'll miss because I will be... wait for it... taking one of my exams. I'd much rather be present for the discussion of this particular novel, which is so very, very interesting.

S told me that I shouldn't do any more studying tonight. I sort of want to, which makes me a big dork. But I also have the pile of compositions that have been sitting on my floor since they were turned in... 2 weeks ago. I need to hand them back before Spring Break. Really. So I'd better get to it.

the sky spitting ice sucks

Wow I'm studytastic. It's kind of crazy.

Part of me really just wants to sit down and read all the Harry Potter books again, and when I finish book 6 magically have the new one appear. But I, like the rest of humankind, have to wait. Alas.

My husband went back to the beach this morning. I'm jealous of course, because I'd like to go to the beach. Especially because it is spitting ice outside - too cold for rain, too warm for snow. It sucks. But I enjoyed my class today and teaching (though it was kinda sorta really hectic but no one broke a chair today) and I'm looking forward to my study meeting tomorrow, because I own the material Yay me.

I just need to keep this positive attitude :-) and share it with the world!

non-confrontational

After what feels like weeks of not getting anything real done... I finally feel a little accomplished.

My studying is finally organized and sort of going somewhere. Which is good. Because mid-March is fast approaching.

S and I have the forms printed out to start the immigration dance, there are just a few bits and pieces to get together and then off it goes to the government.

I was very stressed the end of last week and the beginning of this one with regards to what S and I are going to do about this summer, and while it's not the ideal situation, I actually sort of negotiated my way into a better job. Considering how non-confrontational I am, I'm still in shock. But this better job means we want to get right on the immigration stuff.

I should get back to making my notecards - yes, notecards - so that when I go places, when I wait for the bus, etc, I don't feel guilty about not having anything to study. Yes, I h ave a giant feel like I should be doing more complex. And the notecards are probably feeding it. But if it helps me do better, then it is worthwhile.

!

As of 2:05 PM, I am done with my own academic work for the semester.

Unfortunately, my freedom is almost up - I have to give the final to my students at 7 tonight.

Should I read some Jane Austen during the exam, or something for school? I can't decide. 3 hours. of. sitting. there.